Daily Bread

As we traveled towards home from Salt Lake today, we got to Moab and inched closer and closer to entering back into reality and another Monday which is always a doozy. (For everyone!) I remember coming home from trips back in the day with my family and feeling "this". Whatever "this" is. I hate to say empty, but it is. I hate to say depressing, but it is. And I especially hate to say it's lonely, but it is. So as I stepped into my frigidly cold house tonight, exiting what was a very rewarding and warm-filled weekend with family,food and comfort, I absolutely panicked. What do I do now? I asked myself. Eat bread. lots of it. Hopefully I will be strengthened to eat the right kind of "bread" next time.

Hunger Games, Hunger Pangs

The depiction of appetite in this socialized world is propaganda to justify issues like abortion (as related to sex) and homosexuality inorder to sustain industries held together soley by just that - appetite. That being said, its nonexistence or even potential reduction is believed to threaten overall social livelyhood. The meaning of love has slowly been redefined since the beginning of what I believe established both the symbolic meaning and tangibility of life - The Atonement of Jesus Christ. The relationship between the force of love and humanity desperately gasps for air, as forces of conformity drag it down to the depths of the old and "out dated", trying to regain its grasp on the positive and dignified repurcussions of sacrafice rather than the slippery and temporary satisfaction of the appetite. That last sentence is illegal... sorry. haha So what of food? Churning my thoughts are. Eventually I will have no other choice but to dump them out so in the words of Arnold, "I'll be back." Don't forget the accent ;)

Aware me this

I think the biggest blessing sent from God is awareness of everyday tender mercies. It isn't like being handed your favorite candy bar for the first time in a year although. God sends us blessings to help harvest the crop of life, not to just satify a single moment of desperation. He will always leave dignity intact, if utilized rightly.

Distractions

And while we consume and consume and are left wanting more, the flowers will bloom and the leaves will drink up all the pouring rain until they fall again.

Adam, Eve, and opposition in all things

Everyday life like helping my kids, my self, my husband and others interferes with my addiction EXPONENTIALLY, so what would be the opposite of that? Would my life consume my addiction to the point that it let go of my soul and faded away in the wind because it no longer could see a future there? A broken one. Yes, and SOMETHING EXPONENTIALLY GREAT would happen.... NO DOUBT.

Yesterday....

It's such a nice day. It's cold and crisp but sunny and bearable. It feels like fall not winter. Pearce is outside getting chased by a little dog that lives across the street. He is so happy :) With the air comfortable enough to have the door open, I am watching him from my couch inside. To bask in this winter sun that is shining thru my windows is rare so I better absorb it while I can. But then again I don't dare. I sit and watch Pearce play on our grass that is finally visible since the snow and I ache. Its a melancholy feeling remembering how that was to not care about anything other than cutting thru the wind to beat everyone to the secret fort in our forest. The smells....... The yucca plants...... Brigham tea. Flash backs of the days I didn't have to please because I knew I was loved no matter what I did. It feels like this will be snatched up from me, this moment. I don't want it to be snatch up from him. My grasp is tight on it, or atleast I tell my self it is. But the irony is that it is always me that is the snatcher. I don't trust leaving the unknown in the hands of anyone else but myself, so I will wait and see if I will take this moment away to recover the reality that my past tells me is unforgiving and permanent or just let it be and accept it as a gift from the heavens that was saved by an unselfish entity. I do believe that last part but easily manipulate it just incase . I'm still learning to believe.

When you come to face the thing you fear the most, let the creator guide you. --- Iron Will